What a child can teach us about life
Here is a picture of my little brother at age 2, and me at age 7. A friend saw this and kindly commented, “Two happy little boys.”
Yes, true, I thought; but then I thought further, “Whatever happens to happy little boys, that so many become too soon sad, then troubled teenagers, even juvenile delinquents, and eventually unhappy adults? I mean, even the grumpiest old man was once a happy little boy.”
Then, voila! — I remembered I published a poem some 40 years ago that might provide a glimpse into answering my question.
A Model for Health Psychology: What a Child Can Teach Us about Life
Tom Dorsel, 1984
When Johnny was a lad of five,
Or maybe even younger,
He didn’t yearn to stuff himself,
His cue to eat was hunger.
He had no need to fill his plate
Or clean it subsequently.
When he was full he said, “no more” –
Leftovers were not tempting.
With mealtime done, more exercise,
Though some would call it play;
He’d run and jump and twist and stretch
And breathe fresh air all day.
He’d practice social skills with friends,
No problems with assertion;
His rights he knew and stated with
Appropriate emotion.
His feelings were, indeed, expressed,
He’d laugh and cry and love;
And he’d reveal spontaneously
What he was thinking of.
Self-consciousness was not his bag,
Embarrassment was foreign,
And physical and eye contact
Were natural decorum.
He didn’t say things to himself
That caused him undue stress;
“Irrational assumptions” –
Big words to him, at best.
He didn’t smoke or ingest drugs,
No women, wine and song,
Type-A behavior was unknown,
No grudge was held for long.
He slept all night, awoke refreshed,
And met the day with glee;
His work was fun, and when all done,
He sought more eagerly.
Well, half a century’s passed since then,
And Johnny’s fifty-five;
He smokes and eats and drinks and sits,
Obese and half alive.
He exercises painfully,
And starves himself at times,
Forever trying to relax
And free his cluttered mind.
He wrestles with stress management
And social skills a lot,
With new ways to communicate
Emotions long forgot.
What happened to that lad of five,
Whose health came naturally?
Somewhere along the way he learned
To live so differently.
And as he struggles to regain
His health of yesterday,
Would not it have been easier
To simply stay that way?
This poem was first published in a scholarly journal of the American Psychological Association (APA). Dorsel, T.N. (1984). A model for health psychology. Health Psychology, 3(6), 583-584. Tom can be reached through his website, Dorsel.com.
