Graduation Day

I began my teaching career in 1975, and with a short break from Sept ‘76 until Jan ‘78 to test out the waters as an operations analyst on Wall Street, it is the only main job I have held post college graduation until I fully walked out the door for the last time in June of 2021. My first job was a fill-in beginning in Jan ‘75 for a 6th grade class, and subsequent to that I was at the high school level.

I did some adjunct teaching over the years at a couple of colleges to supplement the income needed to raise two kids, I never had the desire to leave the classroom and move to administration for the higher salary, as the joy of the job was the daily interactions in the classroom and the relationships forged with the kids and parents.

After “retiring” in 2012, I went back part time to teach middle school math until 2021, my wife was the motivator there, she was still teaching and after a few months “off” threatened, figuratively I think, to hit me with a cast iron pan if I was still asleep when she was up and getting ready to go.

My last class of middle school graduates from June 2021 is graduating high school today and over the next few weeks as I write this and some of them have sent me links to watch from afar. This started me thinking about the significance of graduation day and why it always tugs at the heart.

Graduations, alongside births and weddings, are, perhaps, the three most significant positive lifetime events, however, it is the only one where both the graduate and their “team” have worked to get there. It represents a door both opening and closing. It is almost always accompanied by tears of joy that represent the accomplishments that have made the day happen and the anticipation of the universe opening with even wider possibilities to come. Mixed in with the tears of joy are the tears of sadness representing the end of a very fixed amount of time where connections have been made and obstacles overcome.

It is a very specific cycle of time, 8 years where that graduate is beginning to feel their wings just starting to grow (I know there are more and more “moving up” days prior to grade 8, but I still see that as the first real significant one).

Then 4 years where that graduate has either reached, or will soon reach, the age of legal “majority” and usually one of two paths will present itself. That graduation excitement is also accompanied for most, by a mixture of anxiety and anticipation. Adulthood is calling, it’s time to start on a path that, with luck, will be joyful, ever changing and expanding for the next 50-80 years. College and Postgraduate graduations can delay that jump in some ways, yet in other ways it, too, is beginning to mold the adult to be.

That circle remains, for many, unbroken by and by, as the parent(s) now watch their graduate, become the parent(s) of the next group to go through that cycle. With a smattering of luck and a dash of good fortune, those lines remain connected and some of the new tears are those of pride.

When my own children went through their cycles I was able to sit back and admire their accomplishments while at the same time being just a little proud of what I tried to do in support without being intrusive and controlling. When the last graduation happened, the “empty nest” became a reality and that, too, is an adjustment.

Sitting in the faculty section at graduations brings along the same emotions, joy for what they have done, pride for what small part you may have played in their journey and sadness that those who added so many smiles to your face will no longer be part of your days on a regular basis. If you are lucky enough to teach in the same place for enough time, you also become part of that extended cycle where you watch them watch their new graduates.

While I have very mixed feelings about social media and electronic “connections,” one of the true benefits is being able to stay connected with so many former students and colleagues this way. I continue to exchange greetings, thoughts and ideas with and follow along in their continuing journeys, just like the link that motivated these thoughts as I watched from afar today.

That all brings me to the local flavor. Bluffton does a great job of hanging multiple banners on the road into Old Town each HS graduation season, it may seem like a small thing but it always makes me smile when I see them go up and it means another season is about to change (and here, where the Four Seasons is only a Vivaldi opus you look forward to whatever seasonal changes there are).

This particular season had an extra personal flavor. When we moved here we made a very close connection with the person who originally, we highered as our house sitter and pet sitter.

She is a remarkably hard-working young woman who with grit and determination while working for untold amounts of hours, running her own pet sitting business put herself through four years of intense schooling and just graduated with a BSN from UCSB.

As far away as we are from our family, she became a member of our chosen family, and Abbey THE dog’s third favorite person as she cared for her as we did right up until she crossed the rainbow bridge. I sort of envision her opening her new door as did Dorothy when she landed OZ and the change from black and white was now brilliant colors of what is to come.

Perhaps the Four Freshman said it best, though if you are of a particular age, you may know the Beach Boys version, and in both cases said it much better and in far fewer words:

“No matter where our paths may wind
We’ll remember always
Graduation day”

Kevin Fitzpatrick is a retired teacher who, along with his wife Sue (also a retired teacher) is enjoying exploring life in the lowcountry and all it has to offer.